Who Am I?

I finally caved in with everyone else and started my own blog. Now living on my own, it's a good way to keep everyone a little updated. i'll start off by telling about myself

A guy once asked me to tell him about myself and who I am. I was a little stumped. I didn't know what to say. He already knew the basics from our casual talks. This is one thing I'm not usually so great at, talking about myself. I can here and there if it comes up or relates to a conversation, but not just out of the blue. It's like filling out a job application that asks us to list our qualities. I always turned to my parents to help me answer those. I'd put the basics such as being responsible and honest. however, i think the answer more comes from asking why am i responsible and honest , what I have been through, and what I value. Well, this time i couldn't turn and ask my mom. This time, I was on my own. It was my turn to really think about it. And I'm really glad He got me thinking more deeply. Maybe that's how someone really finds out who they are for themselves. I think we too often don't give ourselves enough credit. We are our worst critics. I know i am, but I try not to be. So now trying to answer his question...

I am Melissa. Born and raised in Utah. I have two older brothers and one older sister. Besides the the picture in my mind of the pink carpet with our wooden rocking horse resting there in the downstairs basement of our Midvale home, basically all of my childhood memories consist of growing up in our South Jordan home. The home I yearn to go back to and sit on the porch, shaded by the tree on a beautiful spring day and just watch the neighbors and children out at play. I lived there about 14 years of my life(out of 19 thus far). Then In the middle of my Junior year, my Father's new job led us to Arizona. I was the only one to move with my parents since the other kids had their own lives set up on their own. Somehow i ended up back in cold depths of Utah(at least compared to AZ weather) attending Utah State University and absolutely loving it!

From the many talks I have had with my mother after we moved to AZ, I really came to realize that I am like she was at her age in so many ways. I am rather shy but outgoing once someone gets to know me. I have never been the type to have a lot of friends, but only a small group. It was very lonely at times, as friends would change. I have come to find some that i know will always care and some that no matter how hard i try, they just fade you out. Its definitely no myth that A True friend is hard to find. I love my friends. They are what make life so interesting. They are such a large factor to making you who you are. We will act like them, read each others minds, follow, protect. I've seen this take people in very separate ways of life. As I got older I never really could say i had a Best Friend. It was when i moved that I found that person. It is my mom. Alike in so many ways. We only survived the move because we had each other. I tell her everything. I wouldn't change that for anything. And then there's my father. He is my best friend also. but in a very different way. I love my one on one time with him! He is one of the most patient people I know. I love that he tries to get me to try new things (which also drives me crazy sometimes too) He is such an example to me. He rarely cares what other people think of him, only strives to be a better man. I appreciate all he does for this my family and me.

The most important things in my life are my religion and my family, which of course tie together most perfectly. I know the LDS church is true and it is the way i try to live my life. I can't imagine what my life would be like without the gospel and I'm glad i don't ever have to. The greatest thing about family is that they are always there for you. Often times being slim on the friend side, i learned to love being with my family. I was the annoying tag along little sister. I loved playing games, especially with my brother and his prom group. I learned so much from watching my siblings. If they are reading this they would probably laugh and/or agree with me. I learned what to do and what Not to do. I saw where each path could take you. there was the rebel stubborn side, who made life very miserable for themselves and stressful for my parents. and i saw the "better" side i guess you could call it, which was a lot more happy and pleasing to my parents. I chose the better side. it was more of just who i was and the type people i surrounded myself with. I was probably the easiest child for my parents to deal with out of the four, But that sure didn't make me perfect. Perfect, a word I always hated when my sister called me it when she was mad. I wasn't perfect. No one is. we just all make different extent of choices. We were all taught the same things from our parents. They taught us everything that is right and we all chose our different directions. But we have always been there for each other, only wanting and hoping for what was best for them, what would make them happier. I am thrilled that I will be with them for eternity. along with my own future family.

laughter is another thing I prize. it's the only thing that can keep us going. I love to laugh! One night I began laughing for absolutely no reason at all. and i just couldn't stop. no matter how hard i tried. and then there's a friend that decided to call me giggles. even saying giggles makes me laugh. what can i say. i love to laugh!

Children are the greatest gift. When I was about 11 or 12 I began to babysit. For many years this is how I earned my income. I absolutely love kids. Of course, I always had my favorite kids to babysit. The one's that obeyed were the ones that got to have more fun! and i had a blast with them. I loved being surrounded by the innocents of children because they are always so loving and non judgmental. They were my light that kept me going. They made me happy when I felt alone. So giving of love and it was even easier to love them back.

I am very reserved. I keep to myself but also love to be surrounded by loved ones. I've never been really blunt. I have always hated fighting. Us kids fought a lot, Just like any normal siblings. I learned to not fight back, because whenever i did, I always seemed to lose. Or the story would get twisted back to me and then I never knew what to say. I never had a way with words to make things right. so I keep it to myself because fighting gets you nothing but a bad attitude. I go with the flow of things, unless i truly know it is wrong. I can be very indecisive. which is also why i like to go with the flow sometimes. but its also why I hate shopping. actually I love shopping. its more deciding if its worth the money that makes me hate shopping.

I find Happiness in living the gospel, laughing, letting go and being free. I am honest because I've seen how lies can hurt and I see no reason to lie. it just makes life more difficult and creates more thing to have to remember. I tell the truth because its an automatic reaction. I find it hard to understand why people don't. knowing lives of children were dependent on me hours at a time helped me become responsible. What they would learn as they watched me when i was with them kept me on my toes. I depend on my own parents greatly but have always tried on my own first. responsibility is what makes me more independent each day as I strive to be my own best and one day become a great wife and mother. Now If I were asked who I was, I can know how to respond. but each day i can grow stronger because each day brings new choices and changes that will shape us for who we are in the future.