Well its obviously been a long while since i've posted. I will back up a little. Not long before summer came to an End I spent quite a bit of time at my Grandpa's bedside. He had suffered a stroke one Sunday morning and in recovery when two weeks later we were told that he may not make it through the night. The Lord had blessed me in a couple different ways this same week and I could see how he had guided me to be where I needed to be. I worked daytime at the Megaplex theater and they were starting to cut back hours. At first, I was upset about it. I needed as much work as I could get to pay for school. But when I heard the news of my Grandpa I was thrilled to not have to work. I spent Monday with my Mom in Grandpas room. To first see him the way he was, not able to move or really respond tore my mom and I apart inside. We slowly adjusted and shared our tears and laughter along with other family members that came. I also was able to visit on Tuesday. That same day we were told that they didn't think he would truly make it through the night let alone past dinner time. I had to leave for work but 45 minutes after leaving I was informed my grandfather had passed away. Having to look somewhat decent at work was not easy. I am so grateful for those two days that I was able to say goodbye for now and tell him I loved him. As hard as it was to see him go, we and Grandpa new it was time. The following Thursday I spend the afternoon In Logan Job searching, one of my least favorite things to do. After a few hours of what felt like useless paperwork and wasted time I decided to walk into Little Ceasars and fill out an application even though it was not on my list. As I was filling out an application, the manager noticed and came over. While looking over my almost completed application we began to talk, him asking about my past jobs and stuff. And that was basically it. they weren't desperate but he offered me the job for when I got back from my week visit to AZ. Not sure its the job I wanted but I was thrilled with relief that i'd have at least some kind of job waiting for me. Grandpas Funeral was the following Saturday. That week was full of sadness and happiness all in one. But I could see the Lords hand in it. He placed me in South Jordan close enough where I could be near family in time of need, close enough to see my grandfather and still work. Getting a job when my hopes were low. After spending the summer In South Jordan, working, with little social life, I am now back In Logan going to school. It is Great to be back in a social atmosphere. I especially missed the ward. A year and a half of college and still no chosen major but I’m slowly getting there. While some laugh that I work at Little Ceasars, I am actually quite enjoying it. I have made some great friends there and I have an awesome boss. With those friends I have made caramel apples, carved pumpkins, tie dyed shirts and we all dressed up for halloween. Its been a blast! The Lord knows where I need to be. And as hard as it is at first to accept the way things go, I can usually see the reason not too long after.

HaPpY FaThEr'S DaY DAD!!!

since I am alone here at Snowbird at the moment, I thought I'd publicly say Happy Father's day to my wonderful Father! I could not ask for a better father than the one i already have. He is the most patient man I know. He makes the home a place of peace and refuge even when all his kids have moved out. Dad always seems to know what to do. He is always by my side when i need him helping me figure things out on my own and guiding me through difficult times. Dad, You have taught me so much.... riding my bike without training wheels, being grateful, respect for others and myself, patience, the value of work and Love. You have been there for me every step of the way both holding me close and letting me go. I am so Grateful for everything you are and everything you do!!

Happy Fathers Day DAD!!

I love you With all my heart!

Life in South Jordan

So much has changed since my last post. I am now living back in my hometown, South Jordan.
My first two weeks here were spent picking up job applications, filling out applications, turning in applications, and interviews. Thanks to my mom for helping me fill out some of the many applications I had. They turned out to be a success. I now have a summer job working at Rumbi Island Grill nights and weekends and I am about to start at Megaplex theaters. I've got food and entertainment pretty much covered. Not completely my first choice jobs but I'm just grateful to have two jobs to save up for college and keep busy

I am living with long time family/friends that I've known since I was little. It's a lot more chaotic living around here since i'm so used to either living with a few roommates or just my parents. It is entertaining and I am enjoying having the company just about any where I go around here. Dinners are great together. lots of conversations and funny stories. Tonight I enjoyed the stories of my dad flashing, singing, feeding bad eggs, just being his happy self on various campouts. I can't help but miss dad when I here them! the once annoying singing has become something I miss and cherish being away from home.


One of the greatest things about being back in SoJo is being able to see many of my favorite people. I love being close to my siblings. Thanks to JoAnna for letting me stay at her house for over a week. It was great to hang out with her. I haven't had a chance to really hang out or see Cory yet but I sure hope I do more often. He always can make me laugh!
I now feel like I have 3 homes and families now. My own biological family, The Morley's, and the Roberts. Annette and Trish are my two other mom's. I love visiting the Roberts, playing with the kids I used to babysit, attending their performances or activities, running with Trish, eating good meals. When I was little I was always wanting to do something as a family, now I have that wherever I go =)

My entire family and I are Extremely happy to say Grant has finally been able to leave the hospital and go home! He is absolutely adorable! It is good to see him dressed in regular clothes. Check out his blog for pictures if you haven't already.

I sure am Blessed

Conference weekend was Great! Ashley came an visited me! We didn't do anything wild and crazy but when i'm with her I feel more at home, free to be myself, say anything, do anything and Laugh! Thanks for being a Great Friend and coming to visit me Ash!! We had the opportunity to go to the conference center for the Sunday afternoon session and it was great, of course!



Sunday Night was a very special Moment for me. I got to hold my one and only nephew (as of now)! Pictures don't do justice to show how adorable he is. His little body is so perfect on the outside i still wonder how such a beautful living thing could be so scattered on the inside. As i looked at him I could help but to think that in his first two weeks in his life, he has gone through probably more than I will ever go through in my entire lifetime. Poor little guy! But we love him so much and are blessed to have him with us!


My mom spent a couple days with me this past week in Logan. Its been fun having her around! We successfully had my blood drawn with no fainting or dizziness, we accomplished being in Wal mart for at least 3 hours deciding Easter stuff, and baked some delicious cookies. Its great having my best friend around for some time with little other distractions. We are still thinking of my dad though back in AZ. since he has been back to AZ, he has been real busy catching up on things, and has been working on the White Car making it just perfect for me here in Utah. With of course some bumps on the way such has having the key break in the ignition. It was as easy as a car could get. not being able to lock it, sitting down and just turning it on with what key was left in there. I consider it a success that it was not stolen with how easy it could have been. I guess no one want and old car like that. haha no one but me! I love that thing. Its roomy, good view through the windows, inexpensive(besides repairs) what's better than that? anyway Thanks Mom and Dad for all you do for me. I love you!

A glimps of a Mothers Love for a Child

This is a little late but I am officially an Aunt! My beautiful little nephew, Grant Kyle Hicken, was born 12:23, March 20, 2009, 7 lbs 8oz. 20.5" long. The day was long as everyone with any relation to Allison and Kyle, anxiously awaited for news of Grants arrival and safety. It felt like days.

I was astounded as to how I reacted when he arrived. With Grant's condition of HLHS, I had absolutely no idea what to expect. I was definitely excited that I would be an Aunt, but having a nephew with only half a heart left me confused on how I would be when he arrived. Its not like I expected Grant to pass away quickly but I had fears that that may be what happened. So maybe I tried to not expect to be attached or I expected it to be like when any neighbor or someone i knew had a baby. I'd see him/her, think he was just so cute, hold him, and go on with daily life not thinking about it. This turned out differently. I thought about Grant, Kyle, and Alli all day long, each hour hoping for a call with news of his arrival. I tried to keep busy so I did not get too frustrated from not being updated with any information from my parents. I was thrilled to get the text that he had made his entrance at 12:23am.

The next morning, I had Grant on my mind wondering the latest new on how he was doing. All I got was "they are good and Alli is tired". This was of course good news but throughout the day I began to get a little emotional. I finally had a nephew of which I could not drive to go see nor did I know any information concerning Grant and his condition. I was finally able to talk to my mom on the phone. I don't know why but I got teary eyed when talking to her. Grant was doing great! nothing bad for my mother to report but for some reason I cried. partly out of frustration of not knowing information and partly from relief of talking to my mother.

The next morning (Saturday) I anxiously awaiting going to Salt Lake to see Grant. That morning, while getting ready, I was informed to look at grant's blog. Grant had crashed (flatlined) friday night. I broke into tears reading this. I felt heartache for Kyle and Alli as they stood back watching 12ish people gather around Grant trying to help him. I felt heartache for Grant. I can't even imagine the pain he may be in. That's when It clicked to me. I got a gimps of that instant love a mother has for their child. The love I felt for Grant being a part of the family, my nephew. Its an instant connection, whether I had seen him yet or not. He was my Nephew and I was so proud of him. It was even more frustrated when the time I could be with family got later and later into the day.

I was able to see Grant not too long after I had arrived. He was so beautiful! You would think there was nothing wrong if he hadn't had all the tubes going through and around him. I held back tears as I watched him try and stretch or move tugging at the darn tubes that he was stuck to. It was so cute to see Kyle with him. Kyle was so gentle, fearing any touch would cause him pain.

Later that night the family gathered around Grant to give him his name and a blessing. It was definitely a difficult night for everyone, but a memorable one.

As of now, Grant seems to be doing well and keeping strong. We all hope to minimize tubes as much as we can soon. For any one interested in updates and pictures of Grant, his blog is grantmeaheart.blogspot.com. That blog gives more and better details than I will ever understand of grants condition.

I love Grant very much and I can only Imagine his parents love and worry for this handsome little boy. They are absolutely amazing and we pray for them! Grant's heart may not be fully there but it is a heart of Gold!

Spring Break!

For FHE before spring break we borrowed a projector and rockband and set it up in our apt and played. I'm pretty sure that is one of the most fun FHE's we've had yet.. plus my roommates and I were lucky to make good use of the projector watching movies before we returned it the next day.

Spring Break started off well. Friday night Brittany came to Logan to visit and hang out with me! we talked most of the night then watched Dan in Real Life. Saturday we made breakfast did a little shopping, ate at cafe rio then drove to her Grandparents in Preston Idaho, visited and stayed the night. Once Brittany left I was left alone with the apt to myself for a couple of days. I was looking forward to this because every once in a while I enjoy getting time to myself to do whatever, listen to whatever, and take my time. On Monday a lot was accomplished. Since it snowed All Day Long I slept in, cleaned and organized the apartment, took time getting ready, and applied for a couple of jobs online. I also got to chat with someone I hadn't talked to in what seemed like forever. Tuesday wasn't as productive but I did a little grocery shopping, made scones and fruit salad, and did a little more jobs applications. As each day got less busy, by wednesday night, I was thrilled to go to South Jordan. The first night I stayed at Roberts house. It was so much for to see them and the kids again! I hung out at their house until friday evening when brittany picked me up and we went to Keith's(Brittany's boyfriend) basketball game. I slept at her house and cory picked me up bright and early to go meet my family at IHOP for Breakfast. I got to see Mom and Dad again which was of course good.

After breakfast we went to visit Grandma Sharp. This went so much better than I had expected. Grandma who has alzheimer's disease, was receptive to us being there. She smiled more than I've seen her smile in the last year. When we pointed her to Grandpa she almost acted like she really knew who it was. She put her arms out to give him a hug. In a conversation between us all she also mentioned something like grandpa and her always being together. and would say they needed to get going. It was so cute and made me happy to hear since she usually would just sit really still like she was drugged and look at us all like we were strangers. This time it was like she knew somewhat who we were. I also thought it was cool when I showed Grandma a picture of my yellow and pink bear she gave me. I asked her if she remembered that bear and she said yes and reacted in a way I could tell she did remember it. Makes that little bear even more special to me. We all think she looked so much better possibly because she was on less medications. my mom also mentioned that someone with alzheimer's disease may get better near the end. (since she is in her last 6 months) either way I was so happy to be able to see Grandma especially to see her the way she was!

After Grandma's visit. Cory and I headed to his place. We did a little shopping on the way. At his house Teresa came over, we hung out, ate dinner and watched Fast and furious,tokyo drift.
cory and I met up with Mom and dad to go to church in our old home ward parkway 8th. I love going back to visit and seeing everyone from my little kid days.

Well now i'm back in Logan and school. I really enjoyed the break but its good to be back with home with my roommates!

Its been a fairly busy last two weeks. I was finally able to make it to a USU hockey game and realize how much I've been missing out on. Even though the game was quite pathetic and we beat U of U 20 to 1! I had so much fun. It brought back all the memories of when Kyle played for Bingham. I loved going to his games. I also happened to see kyle and Alli at the game so that made it all the better.

This last week was full of studying for my nutrition test. On Wednesday night our ward was having a ski night and a trip to walk through the draper temple. In addition to that i had and SI(supplementary instruction) for my nutrition class. of all the choices i went to walk through the draper Temple. It was beautiful! There were big, beautiful houses basically 10 ft away from the temple and the view from up there was so pretty. we finally made it back to Logan around 12:30 that night. Friday was a day of relief once i finished my test and was done with school. Our ward did an All night Indexing(genealogy work) extravaganza. I surprisingly made it through the entire night awake. feeling wide awake at 8 in the morning I was able to sleep for 3 hours that day. and with my family arriving that Saturday night I finally got to sleep again by 1 in the morning.



Today, Sunday March 1, was my singles ward had a Family day where families were invited to attend church with us. I was able to convince my siblings to come, making sure they knew food would be provided. The timing worked out well because we also did a fast for Kyle, Alli, and baby Grant. We wish them the best and our love and support for these next few months and years. We had a linger longer after church and I made a delicious dinner for dinner. Roast beef sandwiches, jello, chips, and carrots. It was so good to have all of us kids together. Its fun to catch up on everyone's lives. Thanks guys for coming! We missed you Mom and Dad! but will see you soon! Now I am off to bed to try and catch up on some sleep from this weekend. good thing i don't have my first class tomorrow!

Weekend Fun

I was so excited to have this week of school over with and to have Rachel come for the weekend. When she arrived, Rachel, my roommates, and i made delicious breadsticks and Spaghetti. After dinner we went to Angie's to "Clean the Sink." for those that don't know what that is, it is a small sink full of ice cream, 4 bananas, toppings, and a cherry on top. It was delicious! However, it was quite a mess.

MMMmmmmmm

After ice cream. Rachel and I pulled off two mattresses and laid them in the family room, and with my Roommates we played phase 10 and watched Moulin Rouge.
Saturday morning Rachel and I went to the Small mall of Logan, got some groceries, made cookies and a delicious dinner, Chicken chowder in soup bowls. Something of course went wrong with the cookies and they weren't very tasty but we had fun playing with the dough as if it were playdough.

Rachel & I (it was snowing at the time)


Our First Batch, The M began as an M for All
of my roommates(Megan & Megan) and I


Then I changed the M for mom! With A Sun because
I miss the Arizona weather =)




Rachel left Sunday morning to make it back for her brother's Birthday.
I appreciate her coming to visit. She has always been such a great friend!


And these are the beautiful flowers that Megan F and I's home teacher's brought us. It was so sweet of them!!

Time is Precious

After a small update from my Mom, I learned My grandma is most likely within the last 6 months of her life. This concept is rather interesting. I had heard of people often given an estimated time left to live. And I have been asked one of the usual questions, what would we do if we only had 1 month to live? I never really understood what this could feel like until it hit me close to home. To know that it is so close and could be any day that my grandma is not here on earth with us is such a sad feeling. 6 months is really not very long when you are on your own distracted with life to make time swiftly fly by. 6 months is not very long when you have no car to be able to go visit Grandma. But when i think of Grandma, 6 months to her, may be too long... she doesn't know anyone that comes to visit her or how to eat her food. As heart wrenching as it is, I am happy for her at the same time. When the time comes that Heavenly Father takes her in his arms, she will be so much happier, where she can know and watch her loved ones from above. Time is so precious! I hold my yellow and Pink Teddy Bear that I always played with at her house and she finally gave to me when i was little. That bear will always be one of my most special things. I Love her very much and hope to see her soon.

A Disaster in the Making

Coming on to my second semester, I got this bright idea to cook more often and try to eat healthier. So I went through my homemade cookbook and made a list of all the dinners that i thought would be fairly easy to cook and required only ingredients that I could make good enough use of so they wouldn't go bad. Then I made my list and went shopping, excited to make some delicious dinners! Today i decided to try one of those dinners. A very simple fettuccine and rice pilaf. It all started off fairly well. I read all the directions numerous times as i cooked. Then the sauce didn't smooth the way it should and my rice was burning at the bottom, but still was not cooked. This looked nothing like mom's! I played, adding a tad more milk to the sauce and water to the rice. milk didn't declump the sauce, so I gave up on that one. I took out some little chunks poured it on my noodles and tasted. I may have added a tad too much water to the rice but eventually the rice looked cooked and I tasted. The fettuccine was a little bland, but edible. Possibly because it was from an Alfredo sauce package? the rice wasn't too bad, but i'm sure it tasted nothing like I remember it tasting when my mother cooked it. and the burned rice at the bottom, I blame on my very cheap cheap scraped up pans. My cooking? or the low quality tools I have to use? who knows but I think one of the worst part of making a dinner is the fact that there is bound to be left overs for me since my roommates aren't all usually brave enough to taste my superb cooking, I have an interestingly cooked dinner for tomorrow. I'm a poor college student and its something eat so I guess I can't complain too much. However, I give props to all the cooks and Mothers out there that make such wonderful flavorful food every day. and of course props to My mom for cooking all those delicious meals that i will never compare too. well, maybe one day when I have an oven that cooks evenly and better quality cooking tools but for now it will have to do.

Brr..... Its cold outside

I find it so much harder to get the motivation to do anything when everywhere around you is so cold! Yes its probably true as my roommates call me an Arizonian. I can't help it I love the sun and its warmth! Back in AZ, a friend would call me a Utahrd. Is it possible to be both Utahrd and Arizonian? either way i'm proud to be them! I am so grateful for the chances to be able to visit AZ during this winter especially 2 weeks ago when i was sick. When I sat outside, it was the one thing that made me feel normal. no sudden hot, cold flashes, less ache, shutting off my constant headache for some time. The sun heals, and of course my mother being so wonderful took such great care of me. Thanks! Both my mom and dad are on vacation in Costa Rica right now and i hope they are having a blast. I do find it weird to not to be able to talk to mom as often I'm used too. Anyway don't worry, I'm slowly adjusting to the cold as I look forward to spring and a beautiful summer here in Logan.

My roommates and I keep warm cuddling and watching our movies and, as we have chosen to call them, the stupids (reality shows; The bachelor, true beauty, mama's boys) . We have become addicted. It is quite pathetic, but we have fun together with it!

Surprise phone calls! don't you just love them. Just after finishing the Bachelor with Megan this afternoon, I heard a rather weird ring tone. But i knew just who it was. It was Rachel! It was short and sweet but made my day!

School is going great! I took my first test of the semester yesterday. I'm really enjoying my classes because they are actually interesting and can apply to me. A textbook I have to read and I'm actually enjoying it for the most part?..... That takes some getting used too. It's crazy how we can have so much time to do things such as homework and still not do as much as we should. Therefore I've decided a job could be a good idea right now. If anyone knows of a good one that's available, I'd love to hear about it. The more busy I am, the more I get done. Crazy how that works.

Who Am I?

I finally caved in with everyone else and started my own blog. Now living on my own, it's a good way to keep everyone a little updated. i'll start off by telling about myself

A guy once asked me to tell him about myself and who I am. I was a little stumped. I didn't know what to say. He already knew the basics from our casual talks. This is one thing I'm not usually so great at, talking about myself. I can here and there if it comes up or relates to a conversation, but not just out of the blue. It's like filling out a job application that asks us to list our qualities. I always turned to my parents to help me answer those. I'd put the basics such as being responsible and honest. however, i think the answer more comes from asking why am i responsible and honest , what I have been through, and what I value. Well, this time i couldn't turn and ask my mom. This time, I was on my own. It was my turn to really think about it. And I'm really glad He got me thinking more deeply. Maybe that's how someone really finds out who they are for themselves. I think we too often don't give ourselves enough credit. We are our worst critics. I know i am, but I try not to be. So now trying to answer his question...

I am Melissa. Born and raised in Utah. I have two older brothers and one older sister. Besides the the picture in my mind of the pink carpet with our wooden rocking horse resting there in the downstairs basement of our Midvale home, basically all of my childhood memories consist of growing up in our South Jordan home. The home I yearn to go back to and sit on the porch, shaded by the tree on a beautiful spring day and just watch the neighbors and children out at play. I lived there about 14 years of my life(out of 19 thus far). Then In the middle of my Junior year, my Father's new job led us to Arizona. I was the only one to move with my parents since the other kids had their own lives set up on their own. Somehow i ended up back in cold depths of Utah(at least compared to AZ weather) attending Utah State University and absolutely loving it!

From the many talks I have had with my mother after we moved to AZ, I really came to realize that I am like she was at her age in so many ways. I am rather shy but outgoing once someone gets to know me. I have never been the type to have a lot of friends, but only a small group. It was very lonely at times, as friends would change. I have come to find some that i know will always care and some that no matter how hard i try, they just fade you out. Its definitely no myth that A True friend is hard to find. I love my friends. They are what make life so interesting. They are such a large factor to making you who you are. We will act like them, read each others minds, follow, protect. I've seen this take people in very separate ways of life. As I got older I never really could say i had a Best Friend. It was when i moved that I found that person. It is my mom. Alike in so many ways. We only survived the move because we had each other. I tell her everything. I wouldn't change that for anything. And then there's my father. He is my best friend also. but in a very different way. I love my one on one time with him! He is one of the most patient people I know. I love that he tries to get me to try new things (which also drives me crazy sometimes too) He is such an example to me. He rarely cares what other people think of him, only strives to be a better man. I appreciate all he does for this my family and me.

The most important things in my life are my religion and my family, which of course tie together most perfectly. I know the LDS church is true and it is the way i try to live my life. I can't imagine what my life would be like without the gospel and I'm glad i don't ever have to. The greatest thing about family is that they are always there for you. Often times being slim on the friend side, i learned to love being with my family. I was the annoying tag along little sister. I loved playing games, especially with my brother and his prom group. I learned so much from watching my siblings. If they are reading this they would probably laugh and/or agree with me. I learned what to do and what Not to do. I saw where each path could take you. there was the rebel stubborn side, who made life very miserable for themselves and stressful for my parents. and i saw the "better" side i guess you could call it, which was a lot more happy and pleasing to my parents. I chose the better side. it was more of just who i was and the type people i surrounded myself with. I was probably the easiest child for my parents to deal with out of the four, But that sure didn't make me perfect. Perfect, a word I always hated when my sister called me it when she was mad. I wasn't perfect. No one is. we just all make different extent of choices. We were all taught the same things from our parents. They taught us everything that is right and we all chose our different directions. But we have always been there for each other, only wanting and hoping for what was best for them, what would make them happier. I am thrilled that I will be with them for eternity. along with my own future family.

laughter is another thing I prize. it's the only thing that can keep us going. I love to laugh! One night I began laughing for absolutely no reason at all. and i just couldn't stop. no matter how hard i tried. and then there's a friend that decided to call me giggles. even saying giggles makes me laugh. what can i say. i love to laugh!

Children are the greatest gift. When I was about 11 or 12 I began to babysit. For many years this is how I earned my income. I absolutely love kids. Of course, I always had my favorite kids to babysit. The one's that obeyed were the ones that got to have more fun! and i had a blast with them. I loved being surrounded by the innocents of children because they are always so loving and non judgmental. They were my light that kept me going. They made me happy when I felt alone. So giving of love and it was even easier to love them back.

I am very reserved. I keep to myself but also love to be surrounded by loved ones. I've never been really blunt. I have always hated fighting. Us kids fought a lot, Just like any normal siblings. I learned to not fight back, because whenever i did, I always seemed to lose. Or the story would get twisted back to me and then I never knew what to say. I never had a way with words to make things right. so I keep it to myself because fighting gets you nothing but a bad attitude. I go with the flow of things, unless i truly know it is wrong. I can be very indecisive. which is also why i like to go with the flow sometimes. but its also why I hate shopping. actually I love shopping. its more deciding if its worth the money that makes me hate shopping.

I find Happiness in living the gospel, laughing, letting go and being free. I am honest because I've seen how lies can hurt and I see no reason to lie. it just makes life more difficult and creates more thing to have to remember. I tell the truth because its an automatic reaction. I find it hard to understand why people don't. knowing lives of children were dependent on me hours at a time helped me become responsible. What they would learn as they watched me when i was with them kept me on my toes. I depend on my own parents greatly but have always tried on my own first. responsibility is what makes me more independent each day as I strive to be my own best and one day become a great wife and mother. Now If I were asked who I was, I can know how to respond. but each day i can grow stronger because each day brings new choices and changes that will shape us for who we are in the future.